Due to a late dinner last night, I have a case of the 5 a.m. farts (maybe it was the Bell‘s Two Hearted Ale - which was very very tasty by the way - a mild, very drinkable, citrusy IPA - or maybe it was the asparagus and gorgonzola cheese). But as the fart type implies, it is 5 a.m. and it is Saturday so I am fast asleep and dreaming. In my dream state there is only a Voice and it is saying “Don’t worry, it will be a sweet smell.” And in my dream state this seems like a perfectly logical statement, even though after about 3.5 million farts in my lifetime, exactly 4 farts have had a sweet smell. The odds are stacked against me, however, in dream world I have the decision making ability of a rabid raccoon and the Voice sounded pretty sure of itself.
So I let one rip.
This wakes me up a little bit but barely. I still have one foot in dream world.
Contrary to the Voice's statement, the smell is not sweet.
Regardless, farts are funny in the real world AND dream world so the Voice and I start laughing. Then the Voice says, “I can’t believe you fell for that one,” as if it is the oldest trick in the book or something, so I am like “Oh, you got me again, Dream Voice,” and we both continue to have a good chuckle. Now the interesting thing about this is that while the Voice is only laughing in dream world, I am in fact laughing in the dream world and the real world. I am sleep-laughing about a practical joke played on me by a Voice in a dream, in which the Voice convinced me to fart by ensuring me that it would smell sweet. How do you explain that to Wife when she shakes you awake and asks you “Are you laughing…and why does it smell so bad in here?”
But seriously, the Bell's Two Hearted Ale was very good. I highly recommend it. I was so impressed that today I decided to buy another Bell's beer to see what that was like. I got a six pack of Bell's White Winter Ale - a very light wheat beer with some spice to it and a lot of carbonation - like a "warmer" hefeweizen - which is nice for the chilly nights. Pretty good but doesn't get the glowing recommendation that the Two Hearted got. However, it is a nice change of pace from the heavier winter seasonals.
Thanks for reading, recommend a beer on my Suggest a Beer page.
Coming Soon: The last installment of the Tales of Summer series! Wife tries to wear white one last time before Labor Day and I ruin everything with a simple wave of my hand. Also, I drink some beers from the West Coast.