Monday, August 1, 2011

IPA's and anniversaries

I recently celebrated the anniversary of my birth along with the anniversary of my union with Wife.  I rented a Cadillac.  And a guy from Montenegro to drive it.  He did an outstanding job. 

Wife and I had some overdone shrimp cocktail at a roof top bar in a bad part of town on the hottest night of the year.  Nothing pisses me off more than overdone shrimp cocktail.

If your going to serve shitty shrimp cocktail you might as well vandalize a baby Jesus manger scene on Christmas Eve.  Or crap your pants while riding overcrowded public transportation.

Is it really vandalism if all you do is surround the baby Jesus with potato salad?  The three kings gave him gold, frankincense, and myrrh.  Some other guy decided to give him potato salad.  Lots of it.  Seems thoughtful enough.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Listen, it‘s all part of a process, an f-ing artistic process, sometimes I know where it‘s going, sometimes I don‘t.  Sometimes my computer makes backward apostrophes and I can’t figure that shit out either.  Sometimes you smell poop and wings and all I smell is wings.  Explain that.  Everybody makes mistakes.  I‘m done apologizing.”

By the way, frankincense and myrrh are both dried tree sap used for making incense.  Myrrh also makes an excellent glue.  I found this out by googling “gifts for baby Jesus”. 

Over the weekend, in celebration of the day the exterminator drove my mother to the hospital (true story), I tried some different IPA’s and Double IPA’s.  A Double IPA is exactly what it sounds like - a more intense IPA.  Sometimes this is awesome, sometimes it is alright, sometimes it is just too much.  Pretty much every beer I sampled fell in the category of alright, with a few leaning toward awesome. 

My problem with some Double IPA’s is not the hops but more of the extra sweetness and maltiness that goes into it to balance it out.  When done right, at least in my eyes, this can make for a very balanced, delicious beer.  Sometimes, it makes for a very interesting and complex drink that makes you go back for another taste and another and so on.  Sometimes it makes you make a face and think its alright, I have drink it, I don’t hate it, etc. 

Dogfish Head’s Burton Baton is one that falls in the category of interesting and complex.  I’m a big fan of it and I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned it before.  The balance is great but it has alot going on so I’m putting it in the interesting and complex category.

Port Brewing’s Mongo IPA is very close to being in that awesome category of very balanced, delicious, and very hoppy - in a bright citrus way.  It has a pretty powerful bite at the end that might turn some people off.  It kept me from ordering a second one when there were other options to try.  In hindsight, I should have stuck with this for the night.

Great Lakes Lake Erie Monster was one that lands in the alright category for me because the sweet malt part of this beer was a bit too much.  I would try it again because it wasn’t bad - it actually had a pretty unique hop flavor to it - kind of tropical but bitter.  Wife liked it.

Cigar City’s Jai Alai IPA was a single IPA I tried the next day and it was pretty darn good.  Again, a bit too much of a sweet malt taste for I’ve been in the mood for lately but very good and would certainly try this again, but not outside on a 90 degree day. 

It would be safe to say that these IPAs and DIPAs with more of sweet malt flavor to them aren’t exactly ideal for the dog days of summer.  Maybe it’s the copper color usually associated with these malt heavy hop bombs that turns me off when it is 90 plus outside.  Or maybe I’m just partial to beers that are bright yellow regardless of climate.  This explains my fascination with lemon lime Gatorade, urine, the bright yellow house across the street, post-it notes, legal pads (yellow ones), and Uranus.

“I didn’t know Uranus was bright yellow…”

“Like a f-ing highlighter, baby, like a f-ing highlighter.”

Click the links for more detailed info about the beers mentioned.


  1. Happy belatedish birthday.

    I had the same problem with DIPAs. Ska, a lovely brewery from my neck of the woods, makes a lovely IPA (which, incidentally, was the last beer I drank before hanging up my cape) that you really need to try. Their DIPA, though, is super strong--its 10% ABV felt to my nervous system more like 15%, due in no small part to the elevation (the brewery's at over 7000 feet) and the almost syrupy sweetness brought on by additional malt, which when the sugar crash kicked in felt like a double hangover indeed.

    Marble, another fine brewery in my neighborhood, also makes a fine DIPA. It seemed more bitter than sweet, but that could just be nostalgia.

  2. Ummm can we please explain mom and the exterminator